the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
