u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
