are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
