I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
