Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im part way to drunk.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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