She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
