hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
