My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
