why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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