Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
