No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
