Where is the hickey?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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