i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ladies don't puke and tell
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
