ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
