i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
