I wish i was in the wii world.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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