covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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