the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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