Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
COCAINE IS GR8
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
