Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
