okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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