i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm having to shit out rocks
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