You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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