just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
