where am i from again
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
