a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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