yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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