bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
