That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
