Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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