What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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