I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
