You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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