wanna go halves on a baby?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I will pee on everything he values.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
