bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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