Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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