im drinking this country out of the recession.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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