That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
