can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
