oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
