Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
