I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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