I'm passing your future prison.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
