She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
