I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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