I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
