how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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