He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
