On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This is the high leading the old right now
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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