She's JV to your varsity
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
tell me about the eggs
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