Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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